Dearest Andra,
I was recovering in the Women's Special Care unit after your birth. Since Magnesium is pretty awful they are strict about the time frame of when you are allowed to try standing. Basically Magnesium is a nerve/muscle relaxant. My limbs felt like jelly, my vision went blurry and I felt like crap. That meant I slept a lot. I was also constantly swimming in sweat puddles and my skin felt like it was on fire. I even scared your Grandma Starkie because she touched my arm and was surprised how hot I was.
I had to be on magnesium 24 after delivery and then wait another 24 hours before they would allow me to try standing. This meant I didn't get to see you which broke my heart some more. Then I felt so guilty for feeling that way because the woman in the room next to mine lost her baby. I could hear her sobbing and heartbroken in her room, especially throughout the night. It tore at my heart. I don't know what I would have done in her shoes but it made me thankful that you were here. Our situation might have not been my ideal plan but you were here.
I have to take this opportunity to tell you that your Dad may not wear a mask and cape but he is our hero. I have never been more impressed and in love with your Dad then I was during this whole experience. Before you came along I was the one who always took care of your Dad. I love caring for people, it's just in my nature. It always left me curious how your Dad would handle the whole childbirth experience and then being given ours I was concerned with how he would handle it. He showed me that there was no reason for me to be nervous. He was incredible! He made sure we were both cared for, handled insurance, ordered a breastpump, delivered breast milk to the NICU, took care of things at home, and the list goes on and on. I am truly so amazed by him.
During that horribly long 48 hours he would visit you and then tell me all about it and show me pictures. He was so positive when talking to me because he knew I was having a hard time. He would be beaming when talking you and how perfect you were. Your Dad doesn't get teary eyed or choked up often but he sure did after you were born. He is so in love with you, please never forget that.
Your Dad was always thinking about his two girls and one of the rules he made was that no family members were allowed to see you until I was able to. Aside from Grandpa Reid because he helped your Dad give you a blessing after you were born. (I will have to have your Dad tell you about his 48 hours as it was very different from mine) He wanted to make sure your Mom got her time first. It touched my heart that he thought of that and made me thankful because I was already a little jealous that your Dad got to see you when I couldn't. Seems silly but I just really wanted to see you, my sweet baby Andra!
The one thing I felt I could do for you was give you milk. I worked so hard during that 48 hours to produce milk. I had a wonderful nurse who helped me and I watched some great videos. I was determined to do that one thing for you. If I couldn't be there physically I would at least do this. It was a slow going process but all the praying and hard work paid off. I was able to feed you and it was exactly what you needed.
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